Men's Wealth

This blog is a critical view of the world around us and matters beyond.

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Location: Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa

Monday, August 22, 2005

Final Feature: The Monument of Love


Perhaps a very obscure and puzzling picture, you might say? Well, let me spell it out for you. Witness the Monument of Love! A small room, built for a drummer, his drum kit and it comes with a fan!

You see, for over a year, the members of Full Gospel Church, Grahamstown, have been struggling to find a way to express their undying love for each other. The old folk disliked the noise the drums made. And the band felt like the drummer was always drumming out of time, despite his amazing talent. Old people don't like bass. Young people love drums but only when they sound good.

Instead of turning a blind eye, Pastor Neil Pearson set out to love. He and the carpenter built a booth to solve the sound issue. The drummer, Martin, loves it. Those are his words. The sound desk can actually mix the music now. The band is loving the new rhythm. And the old people are happy too.

It's not words that count but real love in real action, that is, loving from one loving opportunity to the next. Like Paul said:
"Don't just pretend that you love others. Really love them." Romans 12:9 (NLT)

So to all you people who love only by words, but in reality only loving yourself or your own kind, the Monument of Love is a witness against you: you are not a people who love. You are fakers and haters despite all your lovely words and your "good" reputation. May the LORD oppose you.

To the Men and Women who Love: I beg you, continue to love. Love God, love your neighbour and love the disciples of Jesus. And accept eachother's love. And accept my love.

Whatever you do, make sure it's this: love.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Feature: God, The Prince & The Princess 2

The following is the 2nd and final part of a poem written by Linda Zwane which was one the inspirational motivations for this love series. The author gives no permission for reproduction in any format without prior consent. (c)

A man who loves faces the reality with you
And together you overcome the music
A man who loves deals with the past
And together you are secure about the future
A man who loves says lets save this moment
And together you can enjoy it for a lifetime
A man who loves says I want the best for you
And together you live off the good fruit of commitment
A man who loves is always truthful
And together you solve difficulties without grudges

A man who loves says we’ll go this way
And together you are protected under God’s covering
A man who loves gets to know you
And lays down his life defending what he knows and loves
A man who loves promises to be his best
And together you walk in the divine plan of marriage

That is a man who loves
He is wise in his talk. He is focused in his vision.
He is directed in his walk. He is righteous with every decision.
He leads her on the right path. He is a man on a mission.
In her eye is a bright spark – it’s a mark of their cohesion.
From the outside they’ll remark: “What perfect a relation!
“That marriage is on the rock – the Rock of our Salvation.”

After what God had to say
The princess made a decision that day
To man in love she would say ‘nay’
To a man who loves, her life she would lay.

A man never promises you a train or airplane
He brings it as a surprise!

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Feature: God, The Prince & The Princess 1

The following is part 1 of a poem written by Linda Zwane which was one the inspirational motivations for this love series. The author gives no permission for reproduction in any format without prior consent. (c)

God made a princess to be a queen someday
And everyday the princess would silently pray
Oh Lord I will marry one day
What kind of man do you think is OK?
The Lord replied to her and said:

“Do not marry a man in love, marry a man who loves.

A man in love says don’t worry about it, we’ll get through it
And then runs when it knocks at the door.
A man in love says it doesn’t matter, it’s the past
And then hides when he needs to face the future.
A man in love says there’s only one moment and just the two of us
And escapes the responsibility of a lifetime – with the three of you
A man in love says all I want is you
And then rejects his wants when he is in want
A man in love says he’ll always be true
And lies when the world demands truth from him
A man in love says he know all about you
And makes disclaimers when he should stand up for you
A man in love says he promises the best for you
And along comes amnesia when you don’t seem to be the best

That is a man in love
He is foolish in his talk. He is blind in his vision
He is aimless in his walk..oh wait – he walks in confusion.
He is leading in the dark. He leads her to destruction
And on her face is a dark mark – a sign of their friction.
From the outside they will mock, “In that house there is delusion
“That marriage is on the rocks, because of a man’s infatuation.”

Do not marry a man in love, marry a man who loves.

Friday, August 12, 2005

A person who loves

The bottomline is this: you cannot force another person to love, love you or accept your love. But you can
(a) love in the name of Jesus and
(b) accept other's love in the name of Jesus.

So whatever you choose to do, in whatever expression necessary, do these two things: love forth love, that is be a man or woman who loves, and accept love when it is sent your way.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

What to do?

Someone having trouble accepting your love? That's ok. You can't force somebody to love you or to accept your love. That is their choice. I know it hurts you a lot while that is happening - that's normal. It shows that you're alive and well and certainly not hard-hearted. And that doesn't make loving bad.

Don't go for the 'If you can't beat them, join them' attitude. That will just make you bitter and/or just as hard-hearted as that person is. There are enough lovely people in this world who are begging to have a John 13:34-35 relationship with you that makes bitterness worthless. God actually sends people who love your way. It's part of the reason that he calls himself the Good Shepherd and why he is known as the Great Shepherd.

What I am saying is that, you are NOT the problem. (If you are the problem then sort yourself out of course.) Somebody's failure to choose to love or accept good love is their own and God does not hold you responsible for it.

So really, regardless of what anybody else is doing you carry on loving. There are other useful points with regard to the pain. But I will get onto those in another entry.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Feature: Happy Women's Day!

Today is National Women's Day in South Africa. The reason for this holiday is captured at About.com:

"On this day in 1956 some 20,000 women marched to the Union [government] Buildings in Pretoria to protest against a law requiring black women to carry passes. This day is celebrated as a reminder of the contribution made by women to society, the achievements that have been made for women's rights, and to acknowledge the difficulties and prejudices many women still face."

I am into Women's Rights. Actually, I am more into Human Rights and in terms of our modern classifications Women's Rights are a subsection.

I am angry at somebody. Yes, I am angry at that insecure 'Christian' man who woke up one morning sometime back and said to his wife 'You are not going to work. And neither is any other [Christian] woman.' I'm just as angry at him as I am against the fools who passed those horrible segregation laws all over Africa. And South Africa had it the worst.

Whoever started the idea obviously didn't give the Laws of Love or Proverbs 31:10-31 any serious consideration. Chances are he just repeated what his dad told him except he took it to the extreme. But some women do need to work and love it. Some women, in order to love, work. Some don't need to, or choose not to, but also out of love.

What I don't understand is why his sin was so important that he felt that millions of men in the years to follow ought to adopt it as a way of securing their headship of the household (ie lording their authority) at the expense of loving their wives and children. It was naive and arrogant and millions of people, yes, men, women and children have suffered as a result of that...

Lemuel: 'A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.'

Lunda: Yes. A good woman is precious. Unbelievably so.

'Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.'

Yep. True that.

'She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.'

Amen!

'She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.'

She loves people, all people!

'She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.'

And there were some stupid laws that prevented wives from buying and selling property without the consent of their husbands??? Those laws are gone too! Praise God!

'She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.'

Hey, what's that about work, Lemuel? I think other men, Christian men in particular, should read that bit.

'She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.'

A business woman? And she works till late at night!

'Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.'

Hmmm. I think this saying has such similarities with the proverb 'Behind every successful man is a strong woman.'

'She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.'

There's that business thing again! Wow!

'She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.'

She's certainly skilled! How do women do that?

'Her children arise and call her blessed...'

Mum, this one is for you - you are BLESSED! Missing you :-(

'[H]er husband also [[calls her blessed?]], and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." '

There you are again, Mum! You're famous! At least to me - you light up my eyes!

'Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.'

The most important thing in a woman is her character.

'Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.'

I say it again, the most important thing in a woman is her character.

Lemuel: Proverbs 31:10-12,15-18, 23, 24, 27-31 (NIV). Taught to me by my mother.

You had a wise mother, King Lemuel. My mother is of noble character too. And I learnt from her that whether a woman works or not, the most important thing about a woman is her character. And she is still so beautiful! @--}--}---

Happy Women's Day.


Monday, August 08, 2005

Four levels of love

I think the 13th commandment contains an implied response to somebody's love, that is, receive that love. There's a reason why I say this: one of the things that makes it difficult to love [again] is when love is rejected. Rejected love helps some people love less or not at all when the next loving opportunity comes up. (Of course, we are always supposed to carry on loving, but that is the subject of another entry.)

So we have four levels of love:
(1) You love him/her.
(2) Him/her accept you's love.
(3) Him/her love you.
(4) You accept him/her's love.

A little confused? Paul helps us out with this one by saying:
'Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.' (NIV)
Romans 15:7.
And he says that for the purpose of endurance, encouragement, unity and the like...

Friday, August 05, 2005

Unwravelling the 13th commandment

One thing I am trying to get at is that I think this is the instruction that Jesus was giving: B choose to love C, from one loving moment to the next. AND ALSO C, choose to love B, from one loving moment to the next.

What do you think? Isn't that a little different from the first two Instructions?
(a) The greatest commandment says love God.
(b) The second one, which is like it, says love your neighbour.
(c) The thirteenth says you love him/her and him/her love you.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

From one loving moment to the next

Before I go on to expose some of the problems we face in expressing our love, there's a little trick I would like to share. A key thing in the process of loving is to love at every opportunity. That is, love now, and love later when the next opportunity to love comes up. That's choosing to love.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Love, Relationships and Giving

Ed Cole used to say that relationships fail when at least one of the parties stops giving. Put another way, it takes only one person in a relationship to stop loving (or not to love) for the beginnings of a breakdown.

Love gives. Choose to be the person who gives. Choose to be the person who loves.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Loving people is a choice

I first heard about about love being a choice in December 1998. The late Edwin Louis Cole is to thank for that message. From April 1999 I had began to wrestle with what it actually meant and it's only been in the past few months that it finally clicked. I think it was something that Jesus was trying to capture in the 13th commandment. The phrase 'loving people is a choice' has not been as simple to me as Ed Cole put it (or 'love is a choice' as I think he actually put it). But I have finally found a way to express why I think it is important that we love and how we are to love. 6 years is a long time to learn a simple lesson.

Loving people is a choice...

Monday, August 01, 2005

The 13th Commandment

Many of you are familiar with the 12 commandments. You know them well.
The first is: love the LORD your God...
And the second is one like it: love your neighbour as love yourself.
And the third is: you shall have no other Gods besides the LORD...
And jumping to the 12th: you shall not covet...

There was one commandment that Jesus gave that was different from all these. He called it a "new" command. It was different from the others despite its similarities with them, in particular the first two.

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."
John 13:34-35 (NIV)

[See my comment below on why I call this the 13th Commandment.]

My personal blog

Hello world. I finally have my own personal weblog. It is something I have been thinking about doing over the past few weeks I have finally gotten round to it. You might be familiar with my resarch related blog, that is, http://lunda.rucus.net/blog but this one is for personal stuff.

So, world, I will keep you posted!

:)
Lunda Wright