Kid Rock and Cheryl Crow - Picture

Wow... There is nothing like friendship!

The right to be left alone

It’s funny how, looking back at the time that has passed, that I am happier outside the cult than in it. I have stopped asking myself the question, “How did I get myself into that awful situation?” Part of the reason is that certain aspects of the question are answered. The other part is the it is enough for me to exercise my right to be left alone, my right not to have my heart, mind and body meddled with by people other than myself and those who love me.

I wish I could say that I joined the cult because I was completely duped into believing its nonsense. I prefer to look at it as a result of ignorance and a lack of self-respect. I was ignorant in that I didn’t know it was a cult – in fact I certainly would not have appreciated it like that even if I was told or shown by someone. For me it was enough at the time that they seemed like a people who “understood” me.

I lacked self-respect because too often I put down what I wanted and was good for me, in favour of a person who was selfish. In reality we both lost out, but in practice I am concerned about my losing out.

Many people, like myself, just want to be left alone. What I mean is this: we just wanna live life as best we can… happy. We don’t want to be told that we’re ugly. We don’t want to be told that we’re not good enough. We don’t want to be told that we serve no meaningful or relevant purpose in this life. We don’t want to be raped be it physically or emotionally. We don’t want to be lied to. We don’t want to be murdered or hijacked. And in order to ensure these things and the other things that come with them, we prefer to work quietly with our hands, meeting our needs and the needs of others. We mind our own business.

We don’t want people in our head telling us how to live life, be good, be rich, be famous etc. We want to keep our hearts, minds and bodies sanctified. No person should be permitted to violate the heart, mind or body of another individual. Nobody likes to have his/her heart broken.

I once heard a neo-cultist (I call him one whether he is one or not, more or less) say
‘The battle is for the hearts and minds of people.’
No, the battle isn’t for the hearts and minds of people. The battle is for the right to be left alone versus interference. The right to love others as oneself freely versus loving only yourself. The right to live and enjoy ones own thoughts and feelings, versus the incursion of thoughts and feelings by uncaring and self-centred people.

They just don’t wanna be held ransom to a problem they did not create, or held accountable for something they didn’t do. They don’t want to give up one good thing in order to enjoy another when they are rightfully entitled to both.

The people who want to be left alone would not have bothered you at all if… you left them alone! They would not have travelled across an ocean to enslave you. They wouldn’t have bumped into you and call you ‘white trash’, ‘pikanin’’, ‘fat’, ‘ugly’, ‘weird’ etc. They would have loved themselves as well as those they love. And they would have loved you…

But since you, the cultist, insisted on drawing out the battle lines, and insisting on your right to interfere; since you have considered it right to give me a coat, only to unrighteously take away my shoes, you have made an enemy of me. You have made an enemy of a person who would been a friend to you and loved you. You have made an enemy of a person who would have given you good things freely and not count the cost. Now when I give freely you see it as an invitation to interfere. So I give no more. Leave me alone.

The Twilight Zone and the Patience of Light

I think I was born into the Twilight Zone. It's that place between the darkside and the lightside. I suppose I got so used to living in the Twilight Zone that I really couldn't tell the difference between members of the light and members of the darkness.

In the Twilight Zone people learn stuff by being told what somebody else said. In the light you learn stuff yourself and learn to appreciate its value. In the darkness, anything goes, but it is always the one with the biggest stick that wins.

I woke up confused into a confused world. The light is so powerful that even just a little bit in a dark place disperses the light. But the people who revel in the darkside prefer the darkness to the light since the presence of light forces them to confront their insecurities. In the darkside, they can freely live out their insecurities.

The Twighlight Zone is a mixture of the light and the dark. Or rather should I say, it is the shadow of the lightside.

Hurry up now, the day is almost passed.
Drift towards the light before the twilight becomes darkness.

I became enveloped in the dark because I did not tend to the light when it moved. I don't understand this: if the light is so powerful, why doesn't it always remain and dispel the darkness for good? Why do we always have to drift towards the light or get left behind? Why can members of the darkside walk in the light as day walkers, but members of the lightside struggle in the dark?

What is it about the darkness that the light does not seem to own?
-A Shelver In Vino Veritas, Our Heroine (undated).

And why was I born into the Twilight Zone?

For some reason the light is patient with the dark.

One night down

I guess I made it thru last night...